Useless
by Scarlett Dove
Summary: He stares up at himself in the dirty mirror. His own blood is smudged there, as well as black from his eyes, and tears streaming down his cheeks. He was a mess, and he knew it unlike many others. Not even his father knows, but he's too out of it to care.
1. Chapter 1

**Lately I have been rather inactive, that I know. A lot of things have been going on and I haven't really felt up to doing much. But I plan to write some more during the summer, I can never promise all that much during the school year, it always gets busy then, but I shall try.**

**I haven't really picked up (or rather typed) anything to do with the stories that I am currently doing, so, I wanted to do this to get back into it. I think it can out rather well, I haven't done anything close to this before, so, thanks for reading.**

**©Rick Riordan**

**©Scarlett Dove**

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With shaking hands, Nico put down the razor. He stares up at himself in the dirty mirror. His own blood is smudged there, as well as black from his eyes, and tears streaming down his cheeks. He was a mess, and he knew it unlike many others. Not even his father knows, but he's too out of it to care.

He lifts a hand to push his dirty unruly hair out of his face and looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't even recognize himself at this point. His hair was hanging down in front of his face covered in grime due to the fact he hasn't showered in many days. He just didn't care anymore to try. He spent most of his days in his room now, never going out. He's surprised he hasn't died from starvation yet, he hasn't eaten in several days. Though, when he does eat, it's very small.

He looks like the dead. Boney and unhealthy. He could see his rib cage and clavicle. He bet a tune could be played off of them. He understood why people didn't like him, but he didn't understand why people found him attractive. He was sick and twisted and all around fucked up. He was dirty and ugly. He was only good for what people wanted out of him, and that was only one thing.

He rips his eyes from the mirror and steps back. He needs a drink, something hard and strong. He needs a fix but he just had his last one. He needed it bad but he had nothing but alcohol. The hallway swam as he walked down it, the floor boards beginning to stain with his blood. He could barely walk strength much less stand.

He fell to the ground with a grunt. He needed it, but he didn't have it. He looked forwards, intending to stand up again, but stopped once he saw what was in front of him. It was a mirror. But unlike the one he was recently staring into, this one was clean and gleaming. There was a blue sheen to it that made is heart clench. He couldn't bring himself from looking away from it no matter how much burning sentiment the colour brought along with it.

He looked more closely and saw something different. Raising himself to sit on his knees he peered at the picture of the mirror. It was someone who seemed vaguely familiar. Only then did it click in his mind that it was him. The dark brown eyes, dark hair, thin but tall body, tattoos, piercings, and all, it was definitely him.

But… this version of him… he looked, healthy. His cheek bones were less hollowed but still very defined. His clavicle showed but not as sunken in as before and he couldn't see his ribs as well as before. He almost could say he was attractive. His scanned the rest of the body in front of him. There were no scars on his arms nor his torso. He hadn't seen this person since the fight that ruined it all.

He tried to stay away from life at that point. He left camp with only a mere note to tell Hazel and anyone who may care that he had his reasons. Nico didn't even bother seeing _him_ before he left. He couldn't bear seeing _him_ again. It still hurts thinking about _him_, how _he_ yelled at him, told him how idiotic he was, how he was useless, how _he_ hated him… Nico shook his head, blinking back the tears that started to forum in his eyes.

He couldn't start thinking of _him_ again. He's the one that ruined it though. Nico was contempt with just standing by him, thinking that he was loved by him. But then Nico had to go and fuck it up and say that he loved him. Even if _he _was drunk, drunken words are sober thoughts after all.

Nico looked back at the picture in front of him. He was twenty now, at least that's what he supposed was his age. He left when he was nine-teen. It's seemed like a year or so.

The picture smiled at Nico. It was a sad smile; it looked like the picture was trying to explain something to him. Nico longed to look like that again. Happy, contempt, smiling. Nico reached out to touch the so-called reflection.

He touched the mirror gently and jerked back from it as it shattered. The glass cut his skin and the bleeding increased. But this time it was on his legs too. Nico, shaking, stood up and tried walking around the pieces of glass but fumbled and glass cut into his feet. He let out a cry as he tried to step. He pushed his arms against the wall in a vain attempt to keep himself standing. As his vision began to swim he could only think of one thing; beautiful sea green eyes and the warm arms of his Sea Prince circling him. Nico cried out as he felt pressure being placed on his arms.

That was the last thing he felt as his name was being called out in the distance before his eyes closed for what it seemed as the last time.

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**Reviews much obliged, again, I haven't done this before and I don't know if I should continue this cliffhangy thing.**

**Thanks,**

_**Scar :}**_


	2. Chapter 2

**I made another chapter! You're welcome.**

**©Rick Riordan**

**©Scarlett Dove**

* * *

**Useless: Chapter 2**

Nico could sense everything around him. It was like being alive again after death, your senses are heightened. He could smell the bleach and the sickly smell that hung like a veil around him. Nico could feel the rough fabric of a sheet beneath his fingers and scratching his legs, the soft pillow that propped up his head, and a tube along his face. And if Nico really concentrated, he could feel the faintest of brushing along his forearm. He could see red behind his eyelids from the light streaming on his face.

But Nico could hear nothing other than the sound of his own soft breathing, the computerized beeping from a machine, and crying from his bedside.

The worst part was that Nico didn't have the energy to even open his eyes to see who was crying. It must be someone who cared for him, at least. Who else? But who's crying for him? His roommate would never cry for him; Nico barley knows him after all. And he's not close to anyone anymore to have someone at his side. Not even his family.

As Nico comes to think of it, why is he here? Shouldn't he be with his father by now? Shouldn't he be dead? Gone? Out of this world? Forced to stay in the underworld for all eternity? Apparently someone has something against him. Hasn't he lived long enough in this hell? Couldn't he go to the next one? Couldn't he get one break? He'd give anything for that break.

Nico's spent the last year trying to get that break. He was sick of it. Sick of feeling like he was drowning. Slow, steady, and constricting. That's what it felt like, like he was drowning, drowning in tar. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't live, he couldn't do anything. That's why he left, to try and feel again. Try to feel_ good _again. Try to feel _love_ again. Try to feel _himself_ again...! Trying to forget… _him_.

Nico's wrist was squeezed. Not tightly, not harshly, but tenderly. Nico could almost say it was lovingly squeezed. But that seemed illogical. No one loved him. No one. His last so-called love left him crying and hurt. Hurt so much he had to leave. He had to relive. He had to not feel. Even while he tried to feel… Nico didn't want to.

He got fixes to feel _good_. He slept with people to feel _love_. He hurt himself to feel _himself_. And he got faded to forget _him_.

That's how it went for Nico daily.

Nico could hear the person squeezing his wrist saying his name. The person sounded like a mess. They kept fumbling over their words, granted, ninety percent of them were Nico's own name. But the other words and Nico, in his state could only make out a few of them, but they didn't make sense. Nico, don't, love, sorry. Four words. And none of them made sense to Nico. It annoyed Nico to an extent. But that could also be from the person babbling. What Nico wouldn't do to shut them up.

The person's voice changed suddenly. It was still raw, rough, and filled with tears but it got louder and almost happily panicked. Nico could hear footsteps now. A lot of them. Rushing into the room, the person squeezing his wrist moved away, or was pulled away.

There were so many voices now. They all sounded happy. What had Nico done? Why are they happy? Nico's confusion only grew when he felt small arms wrap around one of his arms. It stung. The arms were quickly withdrawn but there was a weight beside him. From the other side of his body someone brushed his cheek lightly. The person seemed afraid they were going to break Nico. If Nico could, he'd laugh.

It was tight around Nico suddenly. There was less air for him to breath. He could feel his chest rise and fall quickly. The beeping from the machine got louder and faster. Too fast. He couldn't breath. Voices were startled instead of happy. More footsteps came in the room and more came and faded as people were lead out of the room. A child was crying. And so was another person. The child's cries faded but the persons stayed beside him as the person stroked Nico's forearm.

The redness from his eyelids was fading quickly and turning into blackness. Nico was fading again. There was a weight on his chest and a lump in his throat.

A startled sob came from the crying person before Nico faded completely.

What did Nico do?

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**I'm trying something where I write and I only check it for grammar and spelling and read through it once, it's supposedly good to do for writing, so if I ****spelt ****anything wrong or anything, tell me, please. **

**Anyways, hoped you liked it, I really like writing this, even though I wrote it originally to be a tragic one-shot. It still works.**

**I will hopefully up-date this soon,**

**Review! **

_**Scar :}**_


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I did things a little differently with this chapter, and the next two. This one is incredibly short for a reason, I put in a part that was Nico talking in his mind and he could hear around him as well (that will be next chapter), but, it didn't seemed like it fit, so I put it in another chapter, so the next few chapters will be even more short, but there will finally be some dialogue showing up. I also really wanted that part in the story so that's the main reason that there will be a slightly different format in that chapter or any other if I do that type of ting again.**

**©Rick Riordan**

**©Scarlett Dove**

* * *

**Useless: Chapter 3**

There was a pressure on his hand again.

Even when Nico tries to sleep he can feel it. Who is he kidding? Nico can't even tell if he's asleep or not now. It's all just black. But he can feel, he can hear, and he can smell. But he can't see. It frustrates him to no end. Did he lose his sight? No, he could see before he faded the first time.

Is he just tired? No, Nico's been sleeping for… too long. Too long, he knows that much. But that squeezing – that pressure – is always there. Someone's sitting beside him, waiting.

Waiting… waiting for him to wake up? Waiting for Nico to look at them? Possibly… waiting… waiting… why would someone wait for him! Who cares for him? Who… who is it?

Who could be sitting there? Who could be waiting? Who could be caring? Who could be crying? Who could be holding his hand and waiting for him! Who's there…?

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**And there is the incredibly short chapter, I will be posting the next one - since I already have it done - in a few days just to give some leeway.**

**Please review!**

**And I'll see you next time,**

_**Scar :}**_


	4. Chapter 4

**And here is the weird subconscious talking between Nico and a weird thing. Hope you like it, I'll be updating soon.**

**©Rick Riordan**

**©Scarlett Dove**

* * *

**Useless: Chapter 4**

**Who's there?**

_Squeeze._

**Why are you sitting there?**

_Squeeze._

**Why do you care?**

_Squeeze._

**Why would someone…**

_Squeeze._

**Care…? **

_Squeeze._

**About…**

_Squeeze._

**Me?**

_Squeeze._

**Who are you?**

_Squeeze._

**Who are you?**

_Squeeze._

**Can't you tell me?**

_Squeeze._

**Why are you here, then?**

_Squeeze._

**…**

_ Nico… Squeeze._

**W-what?**

_ Nico… Squeeze._

**Did you say my name?**

_ Nico…Come back… Squeeze._

**…You said it…**

_ Come back… Please… Squeeze._

**…H…**

_ Please… Squeeze._

**Ho…**

_ Just open your eyes… Squeeze._

**…**

_ I want to see them again… Squeeze._

**…Who are you?**

_ Please…? Whatever I did… Squeeze._

**Did?**

_ I'm sorry… Squeeze._

**Sorry…?**

_ I'm so sorry… Squeeze._

**Wha… who…?**

_ I love you…_

**No…**

_ Squeeze._

_**Percy…?**_

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**Am I annoying some people yet?**

**REVIEW!**

**_Scar :}_**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I am a little late on this, but I've been trying to catch up on one of my other stories. So here's this chappy, I had a little bi of trouble with this one, hence why it took me so long to write, but I think it is suitable for what resides in this chapter.**

**©Rick Riordan**

**©Scarlett Dove**

* * *

**Useless: Chapter 5**

Percy. Why is he here? Why is he here? Why is he here? Why is he here? Why is he here? That was all that was running through Nico's head.

**Why?**

_Why?_

_**Why?**_

Percy wasn't supposed to care about Nico anymore. He couldn't. He shouldn't. Not after what happened. Not after him saying he didn't care. Not after him breaking Nico. Not after all the pain. Not after the hurt. Not after _everything_. _He couldn't._

But he was there. Wasn't he? Right next to Nico. But, again, why?

Was there something Nico missed? Was there something that happened? Did the asshole get his ass handed to him? Did he… did he _care_?

Nico's mind was running at a million miles per hour with these thoughts. It was overloading his mind. He kept telling himself that it couldn't be. That it _shouldn't_ be.

How could this beautiful man want something as disgusting as Nico himself?

Nico could feel the tightening in his chest. His breathing became erratic. He needed to breath. He needed to breath. His hand was squeezed again, but this time there was a warmth on his face and there was hot air on his face as well.

Nico's breathing stopped for a moment. What was going on? A panic swelled in Nico. He stopped breathing and Nico didn't think he would breathe again. It hurt. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to…

_He couldn't. _

_ He __**shouldn't**__._

But the voice was coaxing.

It felt so warm.

It felt alive.

It felt like…

_Love_.

But the other voice was coaxing as well.

But it…

It felt…

_Painful_.

Nico felt the energy around him rise. And with it, his panic rose as well.

The breathing stopped. The redness stopped. The energy stopped. The voice stopped. But the wetness came. It dripped onto Nico's face and rolled down his cheeks and neck.

It reminded Nico of something. It reminded him of all the times he cried. He cried when Bianca died. He cried when his father treated him like he was unwanted. He cried when Percy fell into Tartarus. He cried when Percy broke his heart. He cried when he died.

Yes. That's what it was, Nico thought. He died. But he's alive… right?

Everything's so quiet now though.

And dark.

And sad.

And too…

Too…

"_Nico_."

Exactly.

"Please be alive…" The voice sounded broken, and wet. Nico remember hearing that voice when he came out of Tartarus. It sounded like it had lost all of the joy. Like it wasn't alive anymore.

There was a fourth feeling now. Another hand. Colder this time. Larger too. It felt like life and death at the same time. It felt like home to Nico. The home he had before he left everything behind. Before he threw it all away. Just to be away from _him_. The man now at his side, praying for Nico to be alive. For Nico to come back to him. For Nico to just… _look at him_.

But this other feeling. This feeling was comforting. Even more then Percy's. The feeling brushed the wetness away from Nico's face, as if trying to dry it. It lifted the tightness. It made Nico feel clam. Like he had an anchor.

"Don't worry, boy." A new, deep voice said. "His life line isn't cut."

"Then why isn't he awake?" Percy's voice sounded. "Why is he teetering on life or death?"

The deep voice sighed. "He did it…" It said. "_You_ did it."

"But _how_ did I do it?" Percy sobbed. Extra weight was pushed on Nico's chest. Air left Nico's moth in a short puff. The weight left following it. "How did I do it?" He said quieter this time.

"Only Nico can answer that."

"I wish he'd just wake up…" He will. If he stays like this longer he will be dead. Nico knows this, he's afraid of this. Even more afraid of it then facing Percy.

"Yes," The deeper of the two agreed. "It would make all of us feel better." Nico knew who that was.

"How long do you think?" **Soon**, Nico tried to say, but nothing came out. **Soon**. He tired again.

"However long he needs to rest." **I'm rested, father**. There was air coming in and coming out of Nico's lungs, but none to help him speak. His voice caught every time. He felt so weak this way. He didn't have control. It scared him. He felt useless.

Percy sighed. "Anything you can do?" He asked.

"I've prayed." Nico's father said. "I've prayed to the fates, and that is all we can do now." No. it can't be up to the fates. The fates never liked Nico. They never like Children of Hades. No one does.

He never had it good. Why would the fates favor him now? To humor him? To mock him? To torture him? It could be all of the above for all Nico knows.

"Well," Percy scoffed. "They have been a help so far, haven't they?"

"We do not know of the situation, Perseus." Hades snapped at the emotional demi-god. "And we won't until he wakes." He needs to open his eyes. Nico needs to live. He knows as much as that. He may not be loved, but he still cares about…

"…him…"

"_Nico_?"

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**And there you have it! It's been a while since I wrote this, so yeah... I tired to still give it the... *hand motions* (not gonna say it cause of reasons) ya'know? It's also 3:13 in the morning. So that's a thing.**

**And I'll see you by the end of this month or early September, it depends on how much I still need to do on the other long ass chaptered story. **

**See you soon,**

_**Scar :}**_


	6. SOPA 2013

_**Alright everyone I had to break it to do you but this is not an offical chapter. What this however is an important annoucement. Ever heard of SOPA? Well guess what it's back again. Ya, I thought it was dealt with last year as well. Guess I was wrong. Well looks like we get to stomp it down again. Now I'm normally not the type of person to get actively involved with polticts or do anything that risks my fanfiction account, but I'd rather risk my fanfiction account then serve federal time. Yep you heard me right, if SOPA passes me and the rest of the writers on here could potentially face federal time. That's not all, if you use any similiar concepts to say Harry Potter or any other already published book and post it online, guess what. You could be potentially serving jail time as well. Now if your not screaming what the hell already, then do it now my reader.**_

_**Now the only way I can think of to fight this is to sign a petition, I'll be posting the link at the end of my ranting. Now before you go on thinking oh it's not that big of a deal, imagine this: eight yearold children facing federal time just because they wrote a few one shots or a story or two. Yea that's right it doesn't matter what age you are, if this thing passes were all screwed. So join with me my readers, we must stop this outrage. We must remind the government that they are for the people, not just the rich ones! Do not let SOPA pass or it will be the end of FANFICTION. We cannot let this happen!**_

_**This is the link, simply remove the spaces to go to link. Also I will be posting the link on my profile for further information.**_

_**petitions . whitehouse . gov / petition / stop-sopa -2013 /LMzMVrQF**_

_**or just go to**_

_**petitions . whitehouse . gov and then search petitions. Search sopa then click STOP SOPA 2013.**_

_**Remember people the fate of most fanfiction writers lies on you!***_

By the ways the next chapter will be up by the end of the week.


	7. Chapter 6

**Long time no see. hehe. **

**So I'm already working on the next chapter and I'm going away on the 28th for a whole week, so i will have plenty of time for working on this :)**

**© Scarlett Dove**

******© Rick Riordan**

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**Useless: Chapter 6**

Nico's hands shook as he blinked open his eyes, trying to adjust to the blinding light around him. There were two dark blurry figures standing over him. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and seized up as he saw the people above him.

"Nico." Hades said pushing back the hair on Nico's forehead. "Please relax."

"W-" Nico croaked trying to speak. Hades shook his head.

"Just relax." He repeated. Nico tried to concentrated on Hades' hand on his face and ignore the person to his right.

"Stay here, I'm getting a nurse." Hades muttered before removing his hand and leaving the room. Leaving Nico with _him_.

_He_ sat down on the bed. Nico could feel the dip but he kept his eyes to where his father once was. He couldn't see _Him_. He can't. He couldn't do it. It _hurt_.

"N-Nico?" _He_ whispered. Nico felt _His_ calloused fingers rub over the back of his hand. Nico felt a pang in his chest. Why did it have to be _Him_ he had to wake to? Why couldn't it have been just his father? Why could it have been no one? Why did he have to wake up? "Nico." _He_ said again.

"Wh-wh-at?" Nico asked quietly and tonelessly.

"Why won't you look at me?" _He_ said back, _his_ voice catching, sounding broken. _Broken. __**Ha**__. Like he'd know. His _fingers rubbed around the tube in Nico's hand.

"Wh…. hy, sh-should i-i?" Nico stuttered. _He_ brought a hand to Nico's chin and forced him to move his head limply towards _his_ direction. Nico kept his eyes downcast, staring at the hand he knew so well. He felt his throat tighten and his eyes began to water.

"Please look at me." _He_ asked quietly as if it would break Nico more if he talked louder. "Look at me, Nico." His hand moved Nico's and intertwined their fingers. A tear slipped down Nico's cheek but was quickly whipped away. Nico made a choking sound as he lifted his eyes to look at _him_.

_He_ had dark bags underneath his eyes and a constantly jerking smile. Like he was fighting tears but he was so happy at the same time. _His_ hair was ruffled and just as messy as Nico remembered. Nico gave out another coked sob and looked into _his_ eyes. The gorgeous sea green eyes were sunken in and blood-shot. Tears fell from them and landed on Nico's hospital gown.

Why was he crying? Why are they both crying? There's not point in it. So why did he feel relieved. Why does this feel _nice_? Why is this happening?

_He_ lifted Nico's hand and kissed it, nuzzling it afterwards.

"Don't leave me again." _He_ whispered brokenly.

Nico blinked the tears from his eyes and croaked as He brought his eyes back to Nico's.

_ Why?_

"Nico." _He_ cupped Nico's chin. Nico's breath caught and he let the tears fall freely from his eyes.

_Why not?_

"P-Percy."

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**I hoped you liked it! THEY'RE SPEAKING NOW!**

**But I'm sorry Percico fluff isn't exactly staring now. ;)**

**This is only the turning point my friend.**

**Remember to ****REVIEW!**

**See you soon,**

**Scar :}**


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